(Grand Old Duke Of York)

Oh the bus driver from hell

Can't see or hear that well

So that is why he missed your stop

'Cos he didn't hear the bell

When you get on he's a grump

And when you get off he's so gruff

Don't be surprised, when you flag him down

If he drives past in a huff

For example, there are ads that cover topics such as people not allowing others to leave the train before they push their own way on, people not getting to the bus stop on time causing delays for other passengers and so on.

I think they've left a huge hole in their coverage, and so I now offer a couple of extra nursery rhymes that probably should have been part of the campaign:

Sing a song of commuting

A tale full of woe

When a little drizzle falls

All the trains go slow

Peak hour trains have three cars

When they really should have six

All because the government

Are useless, tight-arsed pricks.

TransPerth, TransPerth After Dark

Just like walking through Central Park

Muggings and bashings on the Armadale Line

Trains to Midland full of tramps drinking wine

TransPerth TransPerth, In The Night

Sure to give a nasty fright

If you see any of these in poster form, let me know so I can go and claim my royalties

Really looking forward to wall-to-wall football for the next few weeks, the inevitable penalty shoot out involving England, and keeping fingers crossed that the Aussies can back up their performance in 2006 with another good showing as "underdogs".

Not looking forward to seeing Mel and Kochie wrapped in their green and gold, calling it the "Soccer World Cup", and acting like they are lifelong fans; then again plastic bandwagoners are a fact of life that long-standing football supporters have to deal with / ignore.

So best of luck to England and Australia, and hopefully that's the next two nations to host the event in 2018 and 2022 respectively.

BRING IT ON!

The notion that it is Facebook’s responsibility, and that Facebook should fund a liaison officer / law enforcement expert is bullshit, and would set a dangerous precedent for software / site developers everywhere.

Let Facebook stick to developing software and content, and give the police enough funds to set up and operate an effective online unit.

• Nothing is achieved without action
• Only one thing stops you from taking necessary action and that’s YOU

Seriously, think about it for a moment. Think about anything you have achieved in your life, and think about how that came about. Did the opportunity walk up to you and hand everything over on a plate?

I doubt it was that easy, though occasionally it can happen that way. No, I’m fairly sure that for most of you, your main achievements came about when you had some thought or other, and you followed up on that with action.

This applies to everything; dating, getting married, achieving success, running a marathon, climbing a mountain, raising a family or getting a job.

So now think about all those things you wish you could do, all the things you intend to do “one day” and the things you have long since filed away in the “too hard” basket.

The only thing standing between you and achieving any (or all) of those things is your own inaction. It really is that simple.

I have literally just caught myself wasting yet more precious time, Googling, digging up eBooks on my removable HDD and “agonising” over which system I should use to better organise the various strands of my life. I reckon I easily chewed up a good hour or so, supposedly with the aim of coming to a decision on the choice of tool, yet deep down I already knew exactly what I needed to be doing.

So, I ask again, is it just me?? Is this some symptom of a mental state specific to me, or does this betray some natural tendency of a larger group to waste time?

Let’s be clear here, in my mind I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing, and the stated aim was a noble one that would produce a valuable result. Yet in reality it was nothing but sophisticated time-wasting, brought into being (I imagine) by my subconscious mind. Why?

You see, when you get to the heart of the matter, I have just 2 core needs when it comes to keeping on top of the daily detail of things; getting things out of my head so they aren’t forgotten, and a way of helping keep me on track with the things that need doing (instead of spending time on pointless exercises).

Forget all the fancy tools, drag and drop “Web 2.0” style apps, PIMs, organisers, spreadsheets and databases… my trusty pocket book and pen are all that I need and the implementation is simple…

Whenever something occurs to me, it gets written down in the book at the end of the current list being maintained. If it’s a really simple task that can be done immediately, then it gets down immediately and gets crossed off. But in any case, the thought is out of my head, it cannot disappear down any of the crevices of the mind, and it’s not getting in the way of other, more useful, thought processes.

The other side of the equation is to have the discipline to constantly work down the list, ticking items off as they are done and, periodically starting a new list containing just those items that are still outstanding.

In many ways the underlying principles are similar to the famous “Getting Things Done” method, but the implementation is a whole lot simpler.

As implied earlier in this article, this approach requires me to reappraise the idea of “lists”. I’ve long held the view that if something is important, it will keep cropping up and automatically grab your attention. If something is not important, it will slowly fade into distant memory. This is the argument I would put forth against the use of lists, and in particular the use of “todo” lists in various personal organiser systems.

I was wrong. When I sat down recently to work out a number of things that needed doing, I started to experience the re-emergence of old thoughts and ideas that I had no idea were still lingering in the background. It took me by complete surprise, but what was even more surprising was how refreshing it was when I blasted out all those lingering thoughts into a written list. My mind literally felt as if it had been spring-cleaned.

And so that brings me back to the original question, again. Given the recent experience and change in attitude towards lists, given the fact that I have had it in mind to use a simple pocket book list system for a little while now, why why why did my mind take me down the path of looking at other “options”?

If you can answer this, then either you’ve cured my specific illness, or you may well have cracked a major cause of procrastination – either way I’m sure the answer is intriguing.

Much of this change in outlook has come from 2 big events this year; the arrival of our son Kian, followed shortly afterwards by my 40th birthday. The “life begins” mid-life “crisis” could be at play here, however in my head at least it’s a simple case of a good time to review things.

I have worked out a number of goals, some small and some that are a bit “out there” and audacious. For now, as 2010 looms large, I want to share just a couple of those. Partly because this could be of interest, but mostly because I want to commit these ideas to the written word, and impose some pressure on myself to achieve them.

Goal 1 – health and fitness is a long-standing issue that being a father again has brought to a head. I basically want to be able to run around the park with Kian when he’s older. There are other reasons for wanting to lose weight and get fit, though I can’t think of a better one than for the sake of a high quality family life. Being in good shape is pretty handy for boosting energy and achieving other goals of course!

I actually joined a gym in May 2007, got my weight down from 135kg to 110kg, then pretty much failed to make the short trip down the road for the last 9 months or more, and I’m now back to 135kg. Having a baby in the house was an excuse, and a poor one at that. Fact is, the only thing stopping me from going to the gym is me.

My goal is to hit 95kg – the maximum weight for a tandem parachute jump – to put this into context, I think I was that weight between the ages of 18 and 20.

Goal 2 – I’ve always had the thought in my mind to work for myself – quite simply I make a shit employee, and I generally hate being one. This year I’ve done some serious soul-searching and dabbling with various ideas, and finally got around to registering the Avallach business name in July. Due to typical “wife, kid, mortgage” obligations (along with the ex-wife and kid ones) I’ve been building things in my “spare” time.

The net effect of this is a complete detachment from what I do in daylight hours, and a burning desire to go into business on a full time basis. I have no idea where the date came from, but I have set 30 Sep 2010 as the target date for my “farewell” morning tea.

I have NO idea how this will happen – probably a combination of getting my hands dirty with sales stuff and working my balls off – so if anyone reading this happens to have any ideas, needs something developing, or a wedge of cash to fund a startup with big ambitions, then drop me a line!

One of the things that I noticed recently is the sheer volume of negativity that I allow to break through the barriers, and a similarly negative slant on many of my rants and rambles. One way that this manifests itself is with sarcasm. While I appreciate the value and genuine humour to be found in sarcasm, I do find myself being overly sarcastic at times.

To be perfectly honest, as I head towards “grumpy old man” territory I find myself increasingly drained by sniping, bitching, moaning, taking the piss and ranting about socio-political injustices. In a way, I think I’ve got to the point where I understand that no matter how much I rant about something, the object of my ranting doesn’t give a toss (if indeed they are even aware of me), and my energies would be better spent in other directions.

The more I think about this, I realise that this pretty much extends to all facets of my life, and is actually getting in the way of many of the things that I wish to achieve in my life.

So, 2010 (and beyond) will be a time of positives, with anything with a potential to “drain” me being ignored or put to one side. Whether that’s the petty bitching on an Internet forum, or my ongoing despair at the way the WA public sector continues to be run by committees of amateurs – it all stops right now.

I myself am incredibly prone to this condition, and it is without doubt the number one target on my personal hit list for 2010 (and the last few days of 2009). On a personal note, I feel more confident taking this on having beaten the nicotine habit (ignoring the occasional backwards slide). I say that because, ultimately, the habit of putting things off, and the addiction to nicotine share the same cure; brain power.

This cure is simultaneously simple and seemingly difficult, yet why should that be? All it takes to give up smoking is to make a decision to never buy, beg or borrow) cigarettes again, and all it takes to cure procrastination is a decision to act now rather than some time in the future.

Simplest thing in the world, yet you find yourself in an almost schizophrenic state trying to fight the urge to buy cigarettes, or constantly beating yourself up for continuing to procrastinate.

I don’t claim to have the full explanation as to why this is, but you can be sure it’s got a lot to do with the science behind habits, their formation and their ongoing reinforcement. My theory is that it’s learned behaviour at the level of the subconscious mind, and the schizophrenic sensations are caused by the conscious mind battling the subconscious.

The trick then is to “program” the subconscious with new habits and behaviours; there’s all sorts of techniques around, including NLP and hypnotism, but ultimately I believe the key factors are persistence and being consistent. If the conscious mind keeps telling the same story over and over again, the subconscious will eventually take that on board as the new “reality”. Those other things are, perhaps, useful tools that can accelerate this process, but the core principle remains simple.

So, that’s procrastination cracked, what will I do with the rest of the year?